Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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