Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
