I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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