I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
