last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
