just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
