Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
