I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
