i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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