I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
