I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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