Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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