He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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