BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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