bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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