In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
