her vagine was all disorganized.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
