im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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