i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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