you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Randomize
