my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
