I just made out with a guy for $7.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
