btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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