oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I wish they made helmets for livers.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
