I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Randomize
