they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
