will power is for people who don't want to get laid
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Randomize
