May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
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