nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
