I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
This is the high leading the old right now
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
