There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
