I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
