my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Too much gin, very little bucket
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
