I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
The feeling are messing with the penis
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
