your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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