i'm signing you up for texting rehab
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
