Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
