Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize
