My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
