Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Randomize
