Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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