evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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