This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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