Your tits are I can't wait for
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
no. you can't hotbox the world.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
