my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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