life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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