Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
