I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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