was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
