I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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