why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
