We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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