I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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