Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
