I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
