Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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