I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
