So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
