Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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