So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
