I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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