oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
