Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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